Episode 79: Why Mentorship Matters: 10 Proven Tips for Finding the Right Mentor
Everyone says find a mentor, find a mentor. And there's a ton of material out there about the benefits of having a mentor. We all know we should have a mentor, but how do we go about actually not only finding one, but finding a mentor who wants to help us achieve our goals? I have a couple of mentors who are 10 years younger than me, and I didn't expect either of them to be mentors, especially from an age standpoint.
They're, you know, quote-unquote, less experienced than me, but they have skills that I want to improve on and they're open to helping me. So let's go. Hell yes. I don't care if that person's younger than me. Everyone has something to teach.
Welcome to Prospecting on Purpose, the podcast where we dive into strategies for successful relationship building and business development. I'm your host, Sarah Murray, and today we're discussing a topic crucial for professional development, and that is finding a mentor. Collaborating with and learning from mentors can be a game-changer in your career.
They provide guidance, support, and insights that will help you navigate the complexities of professional journeys. And finding the right mentor can be pretty daunting. A lot of us struggle with identifying suitable mentors and building meaningful relationships with them. Asking people for help like this can be really intimidating.
Everyone says, find a mentor, find a mentor, and there's a ton of material out there about the benefits of having a mentor. We all know we should have a mentor, but how do we go about actually not only finding one but finding a mentor who wants to help us achieve our goals? I personally have been blessed with many amazing mentors over my career, and I've put together what I have learned over the years into this episode.
So without further ado, let's dive into 10 tips for finding and building strong mentor relationships. Number seven is particularly helpful. I'll share examples throughout the episode and I'll introduce two of my mentors at the end and how you can learn from them as well.
Tip one, identify your goals.
Understanding where you're going is crucial because this is going to make it easier to intentionally find the right people to help you and communicate to them what you're looking for. If you understand your goals, you're going to have a lot more clarity going into this project, which leads me to tip number two.
Build your mentor roster. Recognize that no mentor is a one-size-fits-all-all and may not have experience in all of the different skills that you're looking for. And even if they did, you can't ping a busy person every time you run into an issue or have a question, so it's going to be easier to ask for help and support if you spread it out amongst different people.
So we actually need to find and create a roster of mentors, which we can lean on for specific things. So I'm going to break tips 1 and 2 down with an example. Let's say you're a sales professional and you want a promotional to regional manager. If you know that that's your goal, then you can look at what it takes to be a regional manager.
And then you can identify the certain missing skills that you need to help you get that promotion. So, then once we identify our skills, we can prioritize the right mentors to help us build those assets. Right? So, for our regional manager example, if you identify 3 things that will help you secure this position.
So, let's say for our hypothetical situation here. This new role requires you to collaborate with senior leadership, but you currently don't have any relationships with anyone at that level. So you need more visibility there. Then this role is a management position and you will have three salespeople reporting directly to you as direct reports.
But up until this point, you maybe haven't managed people. And then the third thing you identify is that you're going to have to have difficult conversations with customers in your market. Because when problems escalate, they escalate to the regional manager role. So maybe being more confident in your conflict resolution skills will be an asset to you to get this promotion.
Now we have clarity on what we're asking for, and we can identify different mentors to help us with those different things. And I realized that one of the first tips that we got into was to identify multiple mentors. Don't panic. Once you get comfortable with the following steps, you'll be able to build out a great support system to help you get where you want to go.
For my business, I have a mentor that I go to. If I need to talk about a consulting proposal, I have one. If it's a, if it's a startup equity situation, I have a different person. I go to, it if I need help closing a deal, I have one for my writing. I have one for marketing. I have one for pricing my services.
It's important to nurture all of these different relationships though. I can't just ping these people when I need something. So we will talk about this more in tip number seven. All right. Next tip, tip number three. This is particularly helpful, especially when we're talking about building out your roster of mentors.
Tip number three is to leverage your network. One of the simplest ways to do this is to talk about your goals with your professional and personal network. If the people close to you in your life know what your goals are and know what you're looking for, then they can keep you in mind. For their network, the number 1 way that I have built mentors is mostly through introductions from other people.
An easy example. Maybe you want to start a podcast and you are at brunch with your friend and you tell your friend, Hey, I'm going to start a podcast. This is my new intention. If they know that that is on your radar, then they can keep an ear to the ground for potential connections for you as they go through their daily life.
But maybe they also know someone who has a podcast. Oh, you know what? You should talk to my friend, Sarah. She's in season two of her podcast. I'll ask her if she's open to talking to you and then ask for your mutual contact to introduce the two of you. It's really that simple. And then ask your mutual contact to introduce you.
That is one of the easiest ways to get quality mentors who are already vetted and that you are vetted on their behalf as well. Tip number four, be easy to work with. If somebody makes the connection for you, if you are the person who is the potential mentee, or the person asking for a favor, then you need to respond to that introduction text or email as fast as possible.
This is the first impression. You want to appear enthusiastic and punctual, even digitally. If the prospective mentor has to be the one who first responds to that introduction, You are already making them work too hard. You're asking for the favor, which means you're expressing gratitude to them, being open to help, and you are respectful of their time.
Do not make people chase you. Make it easy for the mentor to want to help you. On a similar note, tip number five is - “Take action”. If someone offers to help you, you say yes, and you take the help quickly. Do not lose the momentum. It is way more awkward to go back to someone six months after they agree to help you and say, Hey.
Do you remember that, uh, you were going to help me get my podcast going? Can we do that now? If somebody offers you help and you want their help, you have to say yes, take it, express gratitude, and hopefully implement their advice. So I just want to give you permission to receive and accept help. Most people don't offer to help unless they genuinely mean it.
So if someone's offering to help you, you say yes, and you take action. quickly. Tip number six, stop the brain-picking. Please, please, please remove the following phrase from your vocabulary. Can I pick your brain? Whether it's a warm connection or if you're reaching out to somebody cold, if that's how you start the exchange, you're already setting yourself up to get nowhere.
You will most likely hear crickets. I also see advice out there to offer to buy a potential mentor coffee in exchange for their time and wisdom. And this is a little bit better. I think it shows a more genuine approach. However, I don't think it's that much better. Busy, successful people can buy their own coffee.
The reason when you ask to pick someone's brain comes off as disrespectful is because it implies that you value their expertise, but you do not recognize the effort time, and usually money it took them to gain that knowledge. So it can come across as wanting free advice or insights without offering anything in return and disregarding the person's professional worth and time.
A more respectful approach would be to acknowledge their expertise and propose a fair exchange, We will talk about this more in a minute and then express genuine appreciation for their time and insights. So how do we propose a fair exchange when we're asking for help, especially if we're in a position where we feel like we're kind of below them in experience level?
So tip number 7 is the money load. If you listen to this show, it's not going to surprise you, but tip number 7 is ABAV. Always Be Adding Value. You knew it was coming if you listened to prospecting on purpose. But really, mentorship is a two-way street. We have to give so we can receive. And there are so many ways to add value to a prospective mentor that doesn't involve money or experience.
One of the easiest ways to do this is to promote them, buy their books, share their LinkedIn contact, comment on their posts, join their live events, sign up for their newsletters, leave a review on their podcast, send them an email, letting them know that you've implemented something you learned from them.
If you can find ways to build a relationship before you make the ask, this is the best way you can start off the relationship on a positive note and put yourself in a position where this person wants to help you. I think people get intimidated about asking for help because they feel that they don't have anything to offer in return.
And honestly, you might not. But that doesn't mean that the other person won't agree to help you. It all comes down to how you approach it. This is really why understanding what skillset you're asking for, being specific in your ask, and then really approaching it from this concept of ABAV - Always Be Adding Value.
Then this mentor not only has a full picture of what you're looking for, but they understand what the conversation is going to be about. They get a feel for how much time they have to commit to helping you. And that you are a person of integrity who's doing what they can at the place that you're at to give them some type of exchange for their help.
So here's a very small example. I recently was connected by a mutual contact to someone who's very visible on LinkedIn. She said a very impressive work background and someone put us in touch with each other via email. We friended each other on LinkedIn and about a week before our meeting, I noticed her LinkedIn post, she had a podcast and she made a post around, Hey, I have this podcast.
If you'd be open to it, if you listen to the show, please leave a review. And I know how important reviews are for podcasters. It's a really big deal. I appreciated that she asked for a review. So before our meeting, I listened to an episode. I wrote an app, a review, and I commented on her post that I had left a review and kept on keeping on when I commented on her post, I noticed she had about a hundred likes on that post and about 30-something comments.
And I am pretty positive that I was the only person who actually went and wrote a review, which is what she was asking for. The other 32 comments were nice. They were supportive. I think a lot of them were a little self-serving to show engagement on LinkedIn and to get on her radar, but nobody actually did what the ask was, which was to write a review.
It was so easy. It costs no money. And then when we finally met, I was able to talk about her show. I added value to her before we had our meeting and everything became so much more organic. To ask for help when you have a small deposit in their emotional bank account that then you can withdraw from ABAV, put it on a post and note where you can see it because this will shift everything when it comes to building relationships and feeling comfortable asking for help.
Tip number eight, express gratitude and report back.
This is the easiest way to maintain a relationship after someone extends wisdom or support is to obviously say thank you for their help and then follow up with them and let them know the results of implementing their guidance. Gratitude can be expressed in a physical card and that is the best case scenario.
If you have their address or can get their address to send them a handwritten note, this is tangible proof of your gratitude and it means so much when you get something handwritten. But there are other ways to express it. So maybe it's leaving a LinkedIn recommendation, supporting their business efforts, buying their product, or promoting their content.
Gratitude is a nonnegotiable, but something that elevates this even further is to reconnect with them and share the feedback of how they helped you. This is such a simple way to maintain the relationship so that you can continue to ask for support as the years go on. You make the ask, you express gratitude, you implement the advice, You report back.
Mentorship is not just a one-off conversation. Ideally, it's an ongoing relationship with the mentor roster that you are building. I have two examples of mentors that I collaborate with in my current business, and in the spirit of promoting their work, I would like to share them with you. The first mentor I'd like to share with you is Lisa Earl McLeod.
Lisa is the founder of Selling with Noble Purpose. She's written five bestselling books. She's in the top 10 global sales gurus. She is my guest expert on episode 64. If you have not listened, go listen to that episode. She has built such an impressive and inspiring business. And I would love for my business to one day look like Lisa's.
But as you can imagine, Lisa's pretty pinging Lisa all day, every day for help. We probably talk only two or three times a year, but she's on my mentor roster. And I ping her for the big things because that's when I need Lisa. So the way we met was through a mutual connection, surprise, surprise. And when I started my business, I hired a consultant to help me with the transition from corporate to self-employed, and he met Lisa at an event and he recognized the similarities between her business and what I was trying to build.
And he asked her if she would be open to speaking to me. So he did an introduction between the two of us and we had a 30-minute call. And since that 30-minute call, she gave me advice, I implemented it, and I reported back. A year later, I was in Georgia I drove to meet her
I brought her breakfast, and I took as much wisdom as I could soak in from Lisa.
But even though I was wondering about the taking, I still found ways to add value. So I brought a copy of her book. I read her book, I loved her book. it was all marked up. I asked her to sign my copy We talked about concepts in the book. It was a really great way to meet each other and build that relationship.
Fast forward another year, right before my big Forbes travel guide. I called Lisa because I know she does a lot of speaking and I pinged Lisa for the big stuff and she gave me some really good guidance on how to run the workshop that I was hired to do. And after that event, I sent her a thank-you gift. I sent her a copy of the handout that we used.
I sent her a card. I sent her pictures, letting her know how awesome it went. So that is, even though, you know, I'm the one taking advice, she gets to see. The outcome of her guidance, and so I'm not necessarily giving much to Lisa ever, but I'm able to really maximize our relationship and I will tell you her bookselling with noble purpose.
We talk about it in episode 64 of the podcast, so make sure you go listen to it. But I will tell you that she now has that book out on a video book. So there's this new thing called lit video books, L I T video books. And I will link Lisa's book episode in the show notes because I would love for you to be able to watch it.
It's, I think it's like 30 minutes. So it's a very condensed version of selling with a noble purpose. So that's one example here of how you can report back to continue to develop the relationship.
Tip number nine, you can pay for mentoring.
I'm just going to say it. I know it's not always in our budget, but hiring coaches and consultants is a great way to collapse time and get the knowledge and or connections you're looking for.
When I was introduced to Lisa, my first thought was, wow, what an amazing ROI I got from that consultant who introduced us, right? Finding people who have the skills you're looking for. And have achieved something that you'd like to achieve. Someday can require an investment. Sometimes every time I invest in myself, it always comes back to me in one way or another.
And it does get me in contact and connection with some really great mentors. And this could be the mentor directly. Who's kind of running the program or developing the content that you hire, it could be other people in their group, program, or mastermind. So the other mentor I'd like to mention, who's very accessible to everyone, is Brynne Tillman with Social Sales Link.
They call Brynne the LinkedIn Whisperer, and that is a perfect way to describe her. I joined Brynne's community because understanding LinkedIn was a skill set I wanted help with. And that's what her program and membership community teaches. I also ended up working with Brynne 101 on some projects outside of LinkedIn and social sales links, CMO Bob Woods was also a guest expert on the podcast.
That is episode 56. If you want to learn more about their expertise. Discuss 2024 LinkedIn trends and what social selling actually means. I will also include a link to her membership site in the show notes because I drop in a group coaching every week or so, so many of the podcasts that you've heard on the show, I've met through that group.
I met through a social sales link and it's really helped me in so many different ways that I wasn't expecting. And it's really cost-effective. So if you're interested in learning more about LinkedIn or getting social sales and support, that may be a strategic way to invest in what they're offering. So I'll add that to the show notes as well.
And then that leads us to our 10th and final tip, which is tip 10, be open to possibilities. You never know who might show up in your life to support you. And if you remain open-minded and open-hearted, you may find that a mentor is Showing up for you and they were not what you were expecting. I have a couple of mentors who were 10 years younger than me, and I didn't expect either of them to be mentors, especially from an age standpoint.
They're, you know, quote-unquote, less experienced than me, but they have skills. That I want to improve on and they're open to helping me. So let's go. Hell yes. I don't care if that person is younger than me, everyone has something to teach. And this is how we're going to close out this episode and all of the ways that we want to receive help from others.
We have to be willing and able to give help. This is the law of reciprocity and any successful person is happy to help someone else because they've learned. That's how they've achieved their success. Mentorship is not just about finding someone to show you the way or give you the shortcut. It's about forging meaningful connections that shape your future.
And it's really important to seek out guidance and support along your journey. That is how we get to where we want to go. So embrace the mentorship experience, have fun building out your roster, learn from them, and watch yourself grow in ways you've never imagined. I hope you enjoyed this week's episode.
I would love to hear from you. And I'll see Please feel free to share your experience with finding mentors in the comments below. And don't forget to subscribe for more insightful content on personal and professional development from prospecting on purpose. Thanks for tuning in.
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Episode Summary:
In this episode of Prospecting on Purpose, host Sara Murray discusses the crucial topic of mentorship and its impact on professional development. Sara shares ten valuable tips for finding and building strong mentor relationships. From identifying your goals to leveraging your network, she covers practical strategies to overcome the challenges of finding the right mentors. Highlighting the importance of adding value and expressing gratitude, Sara emphasizes the reciprocal nature of mentorship.
She also introduces two of her sales mentors, Lisa Earl McLeod and Brynne Tillman, sharing how their guidance has shaped her career. Tune in to learn how to embrace mentorship, build a supportive mentor roster, and grow professionally with the right guidance.
Connect with Lisa
Podcast Episode 64 with Lisa McLeod: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRXNUEsZJ0E
Book: https://www.mcleodandmore.com/selling-with-noble-purpose-new/
LIT VideoBook: https://litvideobooks.com/selling-with-noble-purpose
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisaearlemcleod/
Connect with Brynne
Website: https://socialsaleslink.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brynnetillman/
Connect with Sara
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@saramurraysales
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/saramurraysales/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/saramurraysales/
About The Mentors:
Lisa Earl McLeod: Founder of Selling with Noble Purpose and author of five bestselling books, Lisa is a top 10 global sales guru. Her expertise in sales and business development helps professionals achieve their goals with a purpose-driven approach. Lisa provides valuable mentorship, offering strategic insights and support, especially during significant career transitions.
Brynne Tillman: CEO of Social Sales Link, Brynne Tillman specializes in helping professionals leverage LinkedIn for social selling and business development. Through her program and membership community, she offers comprehensive LinkedIn training to build networks and drive sales. Her expertise extends beyond LinkedIn, providing valuable social selling guidance.
